I’ve been out of sorts lately. Have you noticed? I just scrolled back over a few of my latest posts, and they sound really whiny! I apologize for that. Sometimes being ‘transparent’ means sharing what folks may not want to read. The good news–for those of you who actually interact with me–is that generally, I tend to be funnier in person. But enough about ‘me.’

Tomorrow, Thanksgiving in the US, is my favorite holiday of the whole year. It has real substance–gratefulness. Thanksgiving Day is about being grateful to our Creator–God–for life, for His provision, for the earth, for beauty, for cows, and farms–for everything!

In our family, the best Thanksgivings happened at my grandparents. Family would come in from everywhere–cousins, aunts, uncles, children, grandchildren, friends, and neighbors–and, after a lengthy and detailed prayer of Thanksgiving, we would celebrate together all day and far into the night!

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We live in this world, but we don’t act like its people or fight our battles with the weapons of this world. Instead, we use God’s power that can destroy fortresses. We destroy arguments  and every bit of pride that keeps anyone from knowing God. We capture people’s thoughts and make them obey Christ.  (2 Corinthians 10:3-5)

Ever wonder how Paul thought he would manage that ‘destroy arguments and every bit of pride that keeps anyone from knowing God’ thing?  What about ‘capturing people’s thought and making them obey Christ’? Have you tried lately? I have–’in the name of Jesus and in the power of the Holy Spirit’ isn’t easy! I’m learning how to be a real disciple one low blow or bruise at a time! A gifted preacher once called them ’sheep bites.’  Yep, His sheep bite all right–and given a good opportunity, turn into piranah! Ready for a swim, anyone?

It’s one of the prices you pay for wanting to be a disciple–being chum. I’m reading Paul’s letters a lot more sympathetically these days. I’m beginning to understand his complaining. But I don’t have a grip on ‘patient’ yet . . .

We have always been patient, though we have had a lot of trouble, suffering, and hard times. We have been beaten, put in jail, and hurt in riots. We have worked hard and have gone without sleep or food.  But we have kept ourselves pure and have been understanding, patient, and kind. The Holy Spirit has been with us, and our love has been real. We have spoken the truth, and God’s power has worked in us. In all our struggles we have said and done only what is right. Whether we were honored or dishonored or praised or cursed, we always told the truth about ourselves. But some people said we did not. We are unknown to others, but well known to you. We seem to be dying, and yet we are still alive. We have been punished, but never killed, and we are always happy, even in times of suffering. Although we are poor, we have made many people rich. And though we own nothing, everything is ours. (2 Corinthians 6:4b-10)

  1. Long-Suffering: adj. Patiently enduring wrongs or difficulties. n. Patient endurance.
  2. Politics: (aka ‘disambiguation’) A process by which groups of people make decisions. Politics has been observed in all human group interactions, including corporate, academic and religious institutions. It consists of “social relations involving authority or power” and refers to the regulation of a political unit, and to the methods and tactics used to formulate and apply policy.
  3. Dissembling: intransitive verb : to put on a false appearance : conceal facts, intentions, or feelings under some pretense.
  4. Tact: n. A keen sense of of what to say or do to avoid giving offense; skill in dealing with difficult people or delicate situations.

I’m really struggling this week with intolerance–and my intolerance of the intolerant. It’s really hard to stay hopeful when darkness seems to have captured ‘religious’ people’s hearts and attitudes. I find myself wanting to just go home, lock the door, and avoid them all! The ugliness I’m seeing this week is weighing down my soul. It’s time to crawl up in His faithful heart and rest . . .

pollock.male-female“A tree is identified by its fruit. If a tree is good, its fruit will be good. If a tree is bad, its fruit will be bad. …For whatever is in your heart determines what you say.

A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.

And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak. The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you.” (Matthew 12:33,34b,35-37)

I’m struggling with a relationship lately. Not that relationships are not a struggle for me anyway. I descend from a long line of  jealous, violent, abusive, and relationship-impaired ancestors. But I’m always shocked when I encounter relationship violence in the Body of Christ. (OK, now I hear you snickering!)

I’m not really happy about this struggle either. I’m homebound until I heal from the knee surgery and get my car back from the collision-repair folks–a friend pulled out of her garage and into my car–$2100 for a new door, paint job, et al. My car was staying at their house for ’safekeeping.’

So here I am, homebound, powerless to fix anything, unable to set up alternative transportation arrangements, and caught in the middle of a firestorm over using exclamation marks in an email requesting my blankets back from a friend who took them to put them into space bags. Which brings me back to my premise–who knew my friend’s daughter would go into ‘offense overdrive,’  and turn a one-sentence request into WW III. Words are messy.

But we all do things just as hurtful and stupid, right? It’s one of the reasons I’ve been a hermit all these years. It’s easier and safer to maintain your own sanity if you stay just out of reach of the violence. I figure I’ve done my time, paid my dues, endured and perpetrated enough violence for one lifetime. God’s called me to a higher place. Yeh, right!

Anyway, so here I am, wanting to get  as far away from the psychoses as I can–but thinking, as a disciple, I should be out there among the wounded, healing, delivering, restoring, reconciling and forgiving.

I can hear your sighs of relief–”yeh, thank God she’s in this mess and I’m not…” Not to worry, He spreads discipleship out like a healing balm–you’re up next!

No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously. You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best–the sun to warm and the rain to nourish–to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty.

If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.

“In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you. (Matthew 5:42-48)


This year is turning into one continuous trauma! After some encouragement from my wonderful medical team, especially my orthopedist, I spent this last week in rehab, recovering from a total knee replacement. I have at least one more week to go, and then I’ll go home and come back three times a week for outpatient rehab.

This time I chose a really awesome rehab hospital, HealthSouth–everything ‘Golden Living’ never was–professional, respectful, competent, comprehensive, patient-friendly, challenging–Health South is, in spades! The only ‘negative’ is the mandatory ‘no-salt, no-sugar, no-fat, no-cholesterol, no-taste’ diet–it sucks big time!

All This  ‘down time’ has me slowly reading a great book–Bill Johnson’s Release the Power of Jesus. It’s a really helpful, comprehensive examination of real-life discipleship. Our Sunday evening small group is using it as a study book.

I have two small groups now–a hands-on mission project group, and a regular, Sunday evening fellowship group. Both groups are full of awesome, hands-on disciples, walking out the opportunities the Holy Spirit presents to them. One was founded to bring water to drought-stricken areas of East Africa, and the other one takes on local healing, restoring, and helping projects as they come to our attention.

Both groups take Jesus’ mandates to heal, restore, deliver, and serve seriously-they’re actively walking the talk. I feel safe with them. On the other hand, I’m not walking anywhere right now. So I lay or sit in bed, reading Bill’s book slowly–between physical therapy sessions, Vicadin-induced naps, and bouts with post-op pain and swelling. Pray with me, OK? Every good thing costs . . .l

I need help! That’s right–me–who always prays for everyone else. But today, I’m the one who needs help getting past my own obstinance! I have issues with people attempting to coerce me into doing anything.–serious issues.

I know I’m not the only person who responds negatively to coersion. I believe most of us dislike being manipulated, no matter how ‘righteous’ the motivation. I mean, come on, If God himself trusts us to make our own free choice about our relationship with Him, then everyone else should just let go of their need to manipulate and control. Yeh right . . .

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Labor day weekend has passed, school has started, the soy bean fields are turning yellow, and the corn fields are dry, brown, and in the process of being cut down. Farmers are storing corn in their silos for the winter, and the cows in our fields are lying around, or standing hunched over, their bellies getting heavier by the day. They’re pregnant.

original_supercell (Large)Not all the farms in the area are ready for harvest. Some of them, devastated by August’s tornado-force storms, are struggling to rebuild before the winter sets in.

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I heard a chairman of a religion department announce once, at a foreign policy meeting, that “the only valid relationship is an economic one.” His comment shocked me, coming from a man who had spent his life pursuing the study of God. He never explained it, and I wrote him off as another socialist, from a university given to actively subverting values in the culture.

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angus bullsIt must be breeding season. Tonight on my way home, past the local farms and pastures, the bulls were running–well at least riding, or moseying up to introduce themselves.

I stopped on the road at one farm to take pictures, and as soon as the alpha bull noticed me, he wandered over to his choice, and put his head across her back, then lifted his head over her and looked at me, as if to be sure I noticed him!

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30838funnel cakeCan you feel it? Summer is winding down. The corn and soybean fields are ripe, and peaches are on their last iteration. The wind direction has changed too. The only signs of summer these days are the yummy foods at local barbecues and country fairs. My personal favorite is funnel cake.

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