In a meeting, we’re discussing process problems, and I hear myself speak out, “They never do it right.” the speaker waves across the table at me, and says, “I’m not sure I’d go that far, but . . .” and proceeds to lay out what she feels are the root causes of the current process failure.
She goes on, but I’m uncommonly quiet. From somewhere inside, I hear a phrase, ‘the accuser of the brethern…’ and I’m awash in realization–I do this accusing thing a lot. When I see anything wrong, I look for who’s to blame. And I’m really good at it all–at analyzing, diagnosing, judging, and concluding. Except what I conclude, usually, is that someone has screwed up. So who am I, the right-choice police?
The weirdest thing in all of this, is that when other people do it to me, I’m crushed, and left feeling vulnerable, as though I’m being targeted for annihilation. So I’m still sitting there, still in the meeting, still at the table, but remembering every time in the gospels where Jesus told his followers not to judge, to beware of the polluting influence of those who do, to treat everyone the way we want to be treated, and in the face of every situation, to love.
Afterwards, the meeting leader and I, who are friends, talk about how many of us choose to accuse and condemn as a first course of action. It’s not very people-friendly. It shuts down growth and insight, and breeds alienation and unforgiveness. I’m pretty sure my God is asking me to jettison this behavior now. Pray with me, please? for all of us who build up walls of guilt, shame, and distrust that divide and disable the Body. We need to be healed, and to heal those we injure. Amen.